Teri Cettina

Family Circle, April 19, 2004

Expanding Your Circle of Friends

by Teri Cettina

Many of us would love to live in the kind of neighborhood we remember from our childhoods. We knew all of our neighbors by name. Parents watched out for each other’s children, and we sat on our front porches after dinner and talked late into the evening.

Even if we didn’t have that cozy kind of upbringing, we probably wish we had. Despite our desires, neighborliness has taken a back seat to other priorities. Americans today work more, drive more and generally move at a faster pace. As a result, we find less time to chat over the back fence or at the apartment elevator with our neighbors.

Fortunately, many people are now remembering the importance of community. Books like Better Together: Restoring the American Community by Robert Putnam (Simon & Schuster) have brought new attention to the concept.

Here are some simple ways to revive feelings of community in your neighborhood.

Neighborly Basics

• Use your front porch. Many older homes were built with large front porches, reminiscent of an era when folks sat outside with glasses of lemonade and waved to passersby. If you have a front porch, set up a small café table and chairs or a cozy bench and watch how often neighbors stop to chat. If you’re building a new house, consider specifying a sitting porch rather than front-door landing.

• Take a walk on the wild side. Cecile Andrews of Seattle, Washington, found an unusual way to meet neighbors: doggie play dates. Cecile and her husband, Paul, own a little bichon frise named Maggie. While living in San Francisco, they were invited to join a play group for small dogs. "Now, whenever we take Maggie out for a walk, we invite neighbors with small dogs to walk with us," says Andrews. "It has been a fun and easy way to get to know people."

• Spice up your get-together. "Just don’t call it a potluck!" says Janet Luhrs, author of The Simple Living Guide (Broadway Books) and editor of the monthly newsletter "Simple Living" (www.simpleliving.com). Luhrs and a few of her Seattle neighbors had tried, unsuccessfully, to hold regular potlucks. So Luhrs got creative. "One year I papered the neighborhood with invitations to Janet's Summer Margarita Party and Barbecue and my yard was packed tight with neighbors," says Luhrs. "We had a really great time and many of us made lasting friendships with people we never even knew lived on the same block."

Full article text available upon request.

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